A few minutes in the head of a two year old - Alcuni minuti nella testa di un bimbo di due anni

Do you know what goes through the mind of a two year old? Chaos. My two year old is constantly jumping from thing to thing and from being over the moon to being crushed as though someone had set fire to his favorite stuffed animal Bambi. With his changes of mood he is able to cover a thousand of emotions in few hours. And there are times I feel there is a broken record next to me, saying the same thing over and over again.  Hey, I want to give you the feeling of what it's like to spend nine hours a day - nine! - with a two year old and why most people, no matter how much they love their child, go back to work, at least on a part-time basis.

Mamma? Can I have... the moon?

On a good day, Tronk goes through fifteen of these in a one hour period.

1. Dammi Bambi? Dammi foca? Can you give me Bambi? The seal? Poi.. dammi ba-lena? Now... can you give me the whale? Dammi...Can you give me... Opps, I have got them all... Now, can you give me... ino? (non-sense) [while pointing at something nonexistent in the room]
2. Pull-up? Poi Ciabatte? Can you give me a pull-up? Then... my slippers?
3. Maglia macchine? Can I wear the Cars t-shirt I see in the laundry basket? Who cares it's dirty
4. Pimpa? Pimpa? No Pimpa. Pimpa YoYo? Not Pimpa the book.  Can I watch Pimpa on the Italian kids channel?
5. Scarpa mamma? I want to wear one of your flip flops and drag it to the other room under the bed [while you are coming out of the shower and need your flip flops]
6. Now I wanna throw every single piece of the puzzle in the floor and make the most annoying noise I can possibly make [while you are on the phone having a serious conversation with someone]
7. There are no more pieces to throw. Idea: I'll throw these shoes in the kitchen! [while you are in the kitchen cooking]
8. Instead of reading that book on the table I'll climb on it. Yeah!
9. The man outside is mowning the lawn. Great! I'll say this 20 times. Taglia l'erba! Taglia l'erba!...
10. I NEED TO PLAY WITH SOME GODDAMN COINS IN MOM AND DAD'S ROOM
11. I'm tired. IM NOT TIRED!  
12. Macchina grande, Yeah! (read the full story on macchina grande here) No matter what I'll see, I'll keep saying macchina grande for another half an hour. Macchina grande!
13. HOLY SHIT I’M STARVING. C'e' mango? No mango? I want mango! Are you telling me that I cannot eat mango? [desperate tone]
14. OK, I NEED TO PLAY WITH SOME MORE COINS IN MOM AND DAD'S ROOM
15. I AM NOT GOING TO EAT THIS!  NO!
16. All right, all right, I am going to put it in my mouth. Then I'll throw it away
17. Vai? Vai? Go? Go? I want out of the stroller [while I am waiting to pay in the queue at the till]
18. Cacca? Cacca? I want to poop. Here it is, a fart. Ho vinto! (I have won!)
19. STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY PANTS DOWN MOM! 
20. Ten minutes later. Cacca? Cacca? Too late. I have already done it
    
21. No lena, no lena! I don't want to go on the swing, I wanna spend all afternoon pushing this chair around the playground. Yes, and that stroller too! [until the owner comes to claim it]
22. Canzone? Metti canzone? Can you play a song? [while pointing at my laptop] 
23. Mamma, Cane? [while handing me the red marker] Ok. This time I decide to make more effort. I draw a dog that looks like Pimpa, his favorite cartoon character. For some reason he doesn't like the eye. "Occhio! No occhio! Occhio No!"[and he erases everything as fast as he can]
24. DOV'E' MACCHINA ROSSA?  DOV'E' MACCHINA ROSSA? Where is the red car? Where is the red car? [and runs away in the opposite direction of where the car is while panting]
25. Aha, macchina rossa. Yeah! Yeah! [still panting]
26. Three minutes later. Ok, I'll throw it in the toilet now
27. DON'T YOU TRY TAKING MY PANTS DOWN AGAIN! NO PIPI'! PIPI' NO!
28. Acqua? Can I have water? You don't get it. I don't want to drink water. I want to make a  mess
29. Dov'e' Daddy? Where is Daddy? Oh my God, Daddy left! [desperate tone]
30. Daddy is leaving? So what? I am playing with cars now
31. Wow, I’m starving.
32. Ciuccio? Ciuccio? Dammi ciuccio! Binky? Binky? Give me the binky! [desperate tone]
33. Aha, la luna! Aha, here is the moon! Dov'e la luna? Where is the moon? C'e' la luna la'! Aha, there is the moon there! [binky totally forgotten]
34. Oh, soup! Yeah! See? I can eat all by myself
35. Two minutes later. What? Do you expect me to continue eating by myself?  I need to play now!
36. Pipi'! Ho vinto! I peed! Yeah!
37. Dov'e' pipi'? Where is it? [after I flashed the toilet]
38. I wanna use daddy's electric toothbrush now
39. I wanna unscrew the mirror. Oh, one more time please!
40. I don't wanna go to sleep. I wanna turn on and off the lights
41. Mom, keep on reading, I wanna keep on jumping on the bed
42. Acqua? Can you give me water? No, blu'. Acqua gialla! Not the blue one, the yellow bottle please. Can you give me the blue bottle again?  [at the end of a very long day, while I am about to say good night and close the door of his room]

As I hear him say "I want..." all day long, over and over again, I can't help thinking of a phrase that I heard from my parents at least one million times: "L'erba voglio esiste solo nel giardino del re". (English translation: The herb "I want" only exists in the garden of the king).  It's just that as a child (and later as a teenager) I somehow always assumed that that king had the privilege of asking for things without having to do anything at all in return and that I could just pretend to be him. Let me put it this way. I will make sure that Tronk does not make this assumption.