Thursday, February 25, 2010

Can tolerance and flexibility be taught? - Si puo' insegnare la tolleranza e la flessibilita'?


Ho sempre invidiato le persone che, come mio marito, sanno adattarsi alla maggior parte delle situazioni, anche se, in alcuni casi, lo fanno solo sembrare.
Mi trovavo a Kefalonia, isola Greca da sogno con un'amica, per due settimane. Li', c'era proprio tutto cio' che desideravo, la spiaggia piu' bella della Grecia, un gruppo di artisti che vivevano e lavoravano nella strada dietro al nostro hotel. Barchette di privati da noleggiare. Deliziosi frutti di mare da assaporare ogni giorno con buon vino. Ci aveavano pure prestato lo scooter. Cosa mi mancava? Una sola cosa: Starbucks o un coffee bar che mi potesse vendere un caffe' italiano invece del caffe' greco a granuli che si trovava dappertutto. Mi iniziarono a mancare i cappuccini con la polvere di cacao ed i caffelatte dentro i quali avrei voluto affondare un muffin, cose alle quali, da quando ero andata a vivere a Londra, non potevo piu' rinunciare. Non appena mi accorsi che mancava tutto questo, iniziai ad innervosirmi e a lamentarmi, prima con la mia amica poi con quelli che lavoravano nell'hotel. Poi con ogni persona che incontravo. Mi sentivo cosi' frustrata che mi ero quasi convinta che, lamentandomi con tutti, sarei prima o poi riuscita a persuadere qualcuno ad aprire uno Starbucks sull'isola dove mi trovavo. Fu la mia amica a farmi capire che il mio comportamento non giovava a nessuno e che se solo avessi smesso di lamentarmi, (1) non avrei logorato una cara amica (2) mi sarei potuta godere la vacanza con lei senza bisogno di caffe'
Poco tempo dopo mi ritrovai l'insalata senza l'olio d'oliva in un hotel a Cambridge (UK)ed il mio comportamento non fu per nulla diverso da quello che mostrai in Grecia. "Your hotel is supposed to cater for tourists. If all you can offer is vegetables with no condiments I am not eating here anymore! This is a hotel for cows!". E le oyster cards per viaggiare sui bus a Londra? Quante volte sono salita su un autobus involontariamente con la oyster card senza soldi e, non avendo spiccioli con me, sono scoppiata in un battibecco scenata imbarazzante con l'autista per convincerlo a farmi viaggiare senza pagare. Per non parlare della rabbia che mi venne poco tempo fa', quando mi trovai a viaggiare per ore con mio marito sull'autostrada americana dove, invece degli autogrill italiani con piatti e panini caldi invitanti, apparivano soltanto Mac Donald e Kentucky Fried Chicken. Dissi all'improvviso: "eh no, se l'autostrada continua cosi' mi metto a strillare".
Da quando e' nato William non ho fatto altro che pensare a quanto il mio piccolo si e' dovuto adattare. Dalla prima poppata difficile alla lingua tagliata, dal riflusso, alla frustrazione della non mobilita' ai dentini che stanno crescendo. Ancora piu' recentemente, il bagno nell'acqua fredda del mare che non e' piacevole come quello nell'acqua calda a cui William era abituato. E ora il cambiamento dalle creme acquistate al supermercato alle pappe fatte in casa. Nella maggior parte dei casi, William, dopo alcuni pianti iniziali, si e' adattato e si e' abituato ai cambiamenti. Ecco un esempio recente. A Puerto Rico, la terza volta che l'ho portato con me in mare, William non solo non ha pianto ma non ha fatto altro che guardarsi intorno mentre io lo immergevo nell'acqua cercando di farlo nuotare con me. Si guardava intorno e poi mi sorrideva, come se volesse capire il perche' insistevo cosi' tanto nel portarlo nell'acqua fredda. La stessa cosa e' successa con i solidi. Dopo i primi pianti, William ha continuato a mangiare la pappa con avidita'. Succedera' la stessa cosa con la pappa fatta in casa? Per due volte ho tentato di dare a William la crema di zucchine, carote e patate preparate in modi diversi. Prima mischiate con acqua, poi con brodino, poi mischiate insieme, con brodino e con crema di cereali. Risultato? Ogni volta che ho tentato di imboccarlo, William ha strillato rabbiosamente ed ha sputato tutto con espressione disgustata. William, come faro' ad insegnarti che anche se le cose alle quali siamo abituati non ci sono, va bene lo stesso? Forse papa'ci riuscira'.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Loud scream as feet touched sea and pool water - Quando ha toccato l'acqua, ha tirato delle urla!

William has never been afraid of the water. When we first gave him a bath, he was so calm looking at us washing him in all sorts of umcomfortable positions with his wide open eyes. This happy calm reaction to bathing continued until he discovered the fun of playing with the ducky, the tap handle - not much fun for me! - and recently, splashing. This, for me, meant that I was having a bath too each time I was bathing William. On the beautiful Puerto Rico beach I was just looking forward to seeing William splashing. I was expecting him to go happily in the water and to love the sea water like all kids do. We arrived at the beach with all sorts of gears to make sure that William would not miss any fun. After the napping, the feeding and our lunches, we finally managed to take him in the water. He was wearing his super cool surf outfit. No, William did not want to have anything to do with waves, foam and cold water! He was crying as if begging me to hold him tight and keep him safe. And he was shaking. I cannot expect him to fall in love with the cold sea at 7 months. I was just happy to see him suck on his little salty thumb with a sense of relief after that scary adventure I put him through. Later, I tried getting him to put his feet in the water of the swimming pool. I thought that this time he would have loved it. Instead, once again, his reaction was a loud scream and cry as to saying "oh no, take me out of this cold water!"



Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Beatrice is back from Italy - Beatrice e' di ritorno dall'Italia




Beatrice, William's girlfriend (to be confirmed by him in few years time), came back from Italy. At last! So, Luisa and I, the two mothers, managed to arrange a playdate. The arrangement turned out to work pretty well. My husband John was going to see a movie in 3D at the Imax theater he was so keen to see. So my day was going to be very tiring without John coming home at the usual 5:30 pm. Prediction: I would collapse on the sofa in front of TV hoping to get the energy to transfer in bed and fall asleep there. With Luisa and Beatrice coming to my place at 4:00 pm and staying at my place for dinner, the prospect of that evening was much better.

I was able to do some grocery shopping at the nearby Davis Square Deli market and at a bakery shop for hipsters near where I live, right in time before they arrived. For the Italians reading, a Deli market is for the Americans something like the Italian gastronomia but it is just not the same. It does not sell the ham and the cheese we know in Italy, and the prepared deli food is mayonnaise and onions with some other ingredients! At the bakery shop, with the name pigs can fly, after trying 4 or 5 different types of bread, with potatoes, maroccan spices, sundried tomatoes - all yummy but nothing to do with bread and mostly with onions, I was able to buy a French baguette, which tasted ok. For pudding I was not sure what to get.

I had forgotten it was martedi' grasso. Luisa remembered and brought me a nice pack of bugie o chiacchere (the lies or chats), as we call them in Italy. I am going to grab one now... Not sure when I'll get round to finish this post. :) In the meantime, watch the photos and judge for yourself how much fun William and Beatrice had the other night.

So there they were, playing together on the red mat. Beatrice was sitting up like a champ playing with all the toys around her while William was starring at her. He was then throwing himself backwards. We tried to make him sit up many times but despite all our attempts, William was always happy to lie down. No matter what cool toy was around. He just did not want to make the effort. Beatrice, on the contrary, not only was sitting so well but she was also moving in all directions to grab toys and was so chatty. Who knows what she was telling William. William was grunting in reply to her. Maybe because he did not like Beatrice's grated apple.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Getting through the tough days - Superare i giorni difficili

They say you are not the same person once you become a mom and that no matter what are your needs, your baby needs will come first. My husband John, when we found I was pregnant, immediately told me not to worry about me being used to wake up at 2 pm on Sundays in London after my Saturday night whereabouts. I remember he said to me with a smiling face, the baby, not the alarm clock, would have soon forced me to wake me up early in the morning. And by early in the morning he did not mean 8 am but 6:45 am and in the worst cases 5 am. What I could even less imagine was the following. That at 6:45 am and at any time of the night, no matter in what mental or physical state I would find myself in, the crying face of the baby would immediately snap me out of bed to hold him in my arms, to feed him and to star at him while he is absorbing every bit of energy I feel in my body. In the last two weeks, with me getting sick, the challenge has been harder than I could ever imagine before becoming a mom.

Since I came back from our trip to Italy, the smiling Italian grandma and grandpa faces in ecstasy at seeing their sweet grandson arrive at their house, was replaced by the old baby mat with the same old animals hanging from the top William no longer was looking at, by the 10 minutes of William's happy time on the jumperoo and by the large mirror in our bedroom which William recently started hitting with his hands out of frustration. As a Londoner I rarely spent a full day inside the house, without a serious reason. These could be serious reasons: incredibly cool movie to watch, being late on a University assignment or having to work to do caused by a morning of web surfing in the office. As a full-time mom living in freezing Boston in winter, it has now become vital for me to find fun things to do with the baby indoor. And without the car, given that I am still the old Londoner who does not drive.

In this state of matters, a new CD bought in Italy with Italian songs about animals and loud, weird animal sounds became the most exciting thing I could possibly find. I cannot say in words how exciting it was for me to listen to and sing along with the CD playing in the background these new songs while looking at William getting excited about it. I could never predict earlier in my life that one day I would be so excited to hear such a CD with my baby!

When I started feeling the throat swelling, at that point I knew: the fun was over. In less than two days,I was like a dead body glued to my duvet, grunting and moaning in the most horrible gym/nursing clothes I own, with my poor husband John going backward and forward in the house to look after William, the house and his work commitments. All I remember of those first two days are a glass of cranberry juice and the cups of coffee delivered by John on a tray to my bed. And the repetitive offers of boobs to the baby - the only part of my body not dead - when William was coming to claim his milk rights. So, the old 24 hour non-stop nap I used to take as a student when I was sick with only a quick run to the kitchen to get a tea with honey, have now turned into naps of half an hour every two hours in between one feeding after another. I was and I am still occasionally coughing with monster like sounds. Believe me, sneezing while avoiding to hit the baby in the face is not an easy thing. Icing on the cake: William, to prove that he is a real Italian, often goes on nursing strike!

Despite these challenges, even this time, like in the first three weeks of William's life, to my surprise, with John's help, I functioned. I was able to get through the tough days and see William smile. Is it possible?

William just loves playing - William ama giocare

William has started to really love playing, even by himself. But when others come to play with him, he loves starring at them! Watch video below.


The magic power of the mobile phone. No Italian can resist its charm!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Mommy is sick but happy - La mamma e' ammalata ma felice

Thanks William for making mommy smile today. She was feeling so down after coughing and feeding you every two hours at night in the last few days. Today it was snowing and mommy was trying to look after you at home while feeling terrible herself. She kept going to the bathroom to cough, sneeze, ect. It was hard and mommy felt like crying after making mistakes. She was changing you one sock and not the other, she was putting you in clothes you have already outgrown, she was making you play in a non coordinated way - she kept giving you different toys but without interacting with you as she did not have any energy. She could not sing you any of the songs you are used to hear because her voice was the voice from Hell (voce dell'oltretomba), she read you a story that made you cry and she was not able to feed you either. She was not able to open the tool for mashing the bananas so she could not give you the rest of the banana that you wanted. She was feeling so down and she even tried hard to force you to eat causing more emotional pain for both of us. Then, all of a sudden, you started eating the banana, you did it my boy, like a champ, and then ate a whole jar of sweet potatoes!! Mommy is so grateful to you for this. Thank you sweetheart for making my day so worthwhile. I love you, Mamma

William discovers kitty - William scopre la gatta